image: Girly Vole Birthday Card - Etsy
Oliva's first birthday is upon us (holy shit.) and I'm trying hard to get everything pulled together and done so perfectly that no one will know how silly I got planning the stupid garland decorations and no-sugar smash cake. It's ridiculous, really. I am trying so hard to balance that "crazy mom gotta have everything so perfect even if she won't remember a thing" mentality and the more realistic "she's seriously not going to care about ONE single thing regarding her party" mentality, it's a struggle.
#thestruggleisreal - appropriate hashtag?
How about #firstbirthdaystruggle?
Planning and poking and prodding at this party I have come to realize;
A. I am not a planner, but an "oh shit I need this done in 48hrs" kind of gal. No shame.
B. I really do want it to be special, not even for the moment, but for the sake of the memories. I don't care if she doesn't remember it, do you remember your effing first birthday? No! The photos, videos, and stories we are going to tell about her first birthday, those are special. I am aiding in those memories by being kinda crazy, or at least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.....
C. I cannot, and will not compete will super moms. I can't touch them, and I honestly don't want to. You keep your sparkly "ONE" onesie and tutu. Yes, it's cute but wasn't it destroyed while eating the $100 vegan, gluten free, exuberantly sugary cake you had specially made? DESTROYED. *sidenote - Yep, Olivia will have a sugarless cake. No that isn't because I'm crazy. Yes I would take that $100 cake, you're going to bring that to the party right???????????????????
D. Pinterest is so helpful, and so stupid. I have gone from theme to theme, color to color and back around 5 times. Go home Pinterest, you're drunk. I've decided you're telling me lies.
E. Breathe. It's a party...in the dead of winter, no one expects too much.
While digging through the mounds of nonsense on the internet about first birthdays and party planning, and everything (and nothing) in between, I'm seeing so much dumb stuff. If you like to go big, like $5000 on your child's first birthday big, good for you. I bow to you. I want to do everything and more for her, but c'mon! You don't need an effing baby elephant and 500 balloons! I had no idea how expensive it gets to fill balloons with helium. Am I alone here? Did everyone know the cost of helium but me? Geezus!
I am nowhere near close to having everything ready, and you know what the sad part is? There's not even THAT much to do! But raising a child is demanding, and when she's awake we are playing or eating or cooking or painting...and that takes priority over this damn party. So, although I am almost the crazy (kid) party mom, I guess I'm not that bad after all.
Olivia will not have a fabulously dazzled smash cake. There will be no party dress or giant bow in her hair. No sparkly shoes or princess chair. We won't have ponies or clowns. There will be no gift bags or super rad games. We will have lots of fun though. There will be an abundance of good food, and family and friends. And you know what else? She will have an amazingly unplanned, yet thoroughly thought out first birthday party. And I'm pretty excited!
Any of you mommas thinking of starting to plan your little babe's first birthday, just remember it's the memories you're aiding, not creating. Your love shows through by the time you spend, not the dollar or decorations.
But you can still make it cute as hell!
Happy planning, and happy birthday's!