There are hundreds of posts out there that tell you "What No One Tells You", and they are helpful, relevant, and usually pretty funny. I've probably read 80 out of 100 of these posts, and I wanted to share some of my own things that no one told me. Here it goes.
1. You "NEED" a travel system. Right.
Mommas. Dads. Gear is fun, a must have, and also gets expensive really quick. You should really be making the most of your spending when it comes to baby junk. Now, we got lucky and most of our gear has been gifted to us, but that doesn't mean I haven't had the bottom dollar in mind the whole time. Baby companies are always out to make an extra buck on the clueless first time parent, and they totally got me, and in one area in particular that I am now bitter about. The travel system.
Oh the joy of being able to pop my carseat into a stroller and never have to move bitty baby one bit! Oh, she's sleeping? No worries! I'll just bring the entire carseat in the house and let her finish her snooze. It was awesome, convenient, and if she was ever sleeping I never had to disturb her. Every parents dream right? Well, it was awesome for about 2 months.
Babies grow, and they grow quickly. Olivia is a small girl, just really petite, so she didn't outgrow her carseat until recently. When she was an infant it was great to be able to transition her from the car to a stroller with ease and minimal effort on either part, but as she became more independant, she didn't want to be in her carseat anymore. She wanted to sit in the stroller, move her legs, and have a little more freedom. So we stopped setting the carseat into the stroller and let her begin to sit alone. End the need for a travel system. Right then and there.
We've recently upgraded our carseat and that's when it hit me, WE DIDN'T NEED THAT EXPENSIVE TRAVEL SYSTEM! The carseat currently holds a baby from 5lbs. all the way to a child of 65lbs. Now tell me why we didn't just begin with that? Because we are first time parents, and baby companies and other parents INSISITED we needed that travel system. Save yourselves some cash, or rather, invest it into some kick ass stroller and carseat that you can actually use for the next 3 years.
2. 100. degrees is not a temperature.
Olivia has had her first cold. It was bound to happen eventually and it kicked her little booty. I considered she might be bionic and is just incapable of getting ill, but alas 9.5 months of nothing, she finally caught the bug. It was cold, nothing serious, but as a first time parent it's scary. When you go to check on your child in the middle of the night and find that they are hot as hell, it's enough to freak you out. I took her temperature and BOOM! there it was 102.5! Hubs and I debated on what to do. Do we go to the hospital? Do we let her ride it out? End result was a trip to the doctor the following day, just to be sure, and then let her body fight the good fight. *Sidenote - I hate to admit it, but hubs' idea to stop lowering her temperature and see what her body would do, was the best idea in this situation. Dad - 1 Mom - 0.
She's better now and the booger monster phase, oh my god, boogers everywhere guys, has passed. So, unless your child is lethargic, isn't eating, or is dehydrated, 100 degrees is nothing. I have now learned to let it run it's course, and until that thermometer reads 103 maybe even 104...DON'T PANIC.
3. DON'T PANIC
Babies are weird. They do weird things, smell funny, and will inevitably scare the hell out of you sometimes. Just keep calm, see number 2.
4. Stop at 2 drinks. Seriously.
Breastfeeding and drinking, one of my favorite subjects. Did you know that it is actually okay for you to consume the occasional drink or 4 while breastfeeding? Yep, sure is. So please mommas, go get yourself a night out of the house, with a little less stress than you normally would have on your plate. Don't fret over that beer, it's not hurting anything. I will warn you though, you can't handle anything like you used to.
Yikes. That one time I drank 3 brews...yes I said three, was the worst idea I've ever had. Friday nights at my local watering hole used to consist of good friends, downing drinks without counting, and mocking everyone in the bar to ourselves. Now, if I do decide to venture out on a Friday night - which is like, once every 2 months - I go with $10, because that's all I can handle. Physically. I have never been so sick! I felt like the worst parent in the entire world for having THREE drinks. No one told me that my body wouldn't physically be able to handle alcohol the same! Where the hell was that information?! I imagined a fun night out, a couple of hours with friends laughing over a few drinks, and then I realized "Uh-oh, something isn't right.." and cut my night off.
Basically, go out and have fun sometimes, but cut yourself off at 2 because you will heavily regret it, and you will be dying. I'm not kidding, I'm pretty sure that is what death feels like.
5. Diaper Bag - Schmiper Bag
Well look at you, you new momma with it all pulled together. That's a mighty fine organized diaper bag you've got there. Oh, you spent an hour on it? You spent TWO hours picking it out? Well that was fun wasn't it? Trying it on, making sure you've adjusted the strap to just the right height. Oh baby buying bliss!
Now what if I told you you've wasted MORE money on a bag you will end up hating? It's okay, you can yell. Buying a diaper bag was silly. We did take two hours picking one out, and I did spend an hour getting it organized with all of the things I thought I would need for my babe. Man o man, why did I buy that stupid thing?
It was a memorably frustratingly busy day the day I realized what a baby-buying blind lady I was. I was rushing to make sure I had everything I needed for the afternoon, and right as I was headed out, my stupid bag got caught in the door AGAIN and shit went everywhere. I came back inside and let Olivia sit with her toys for a minute while I cleaned up the mess my stupid bag had caused. Then it happened. Magic. I glanced up and there it was, my backpack from college. Just sitting there, waiting for me to notice it again.
I instantly ran to it, emptied it out and began loading it full of everything that had once been in the Babies'R'Us bag that, at once upon a time, raised my blood pressure. After that moment I have yet to look back. I can't even tell you where the dumb bag is. Wonderlust.
The moral to this story is, a good backpack is ALL you need! You have a million pockets, with pockets inside of pockets, and guess what? YOU'LL USE THE BACKPACK AGAIN! Maybe your kiddo will even use it. Who knows! Guys, find you an awesome backpack and utilize it. Buy it new. Buy it used. Reuse an old one like I did, but whatever you do, you don't need that diaper bag everyone is telling you you need.
I have started and stopped this post about six times, and right now, I think these five things "I wish someone would have told me" are a great start. I think maybe I'll just do this in increments of 5 because there is so much more, and I learn something new everyday. There's usually a lightbulb that goes off once a day that's telling me "Tori, what were you thinking?" so I'll just keep track of the lights. Maybe some other new parent will be able to find some use out of my learnings. One can only hope!
Cheers to spilling coffee everywhere, because it's MONDAY!
Happy Monday!