Baby Body. Mine, Not The Baby's...

As a girl, I feel like it's embedded in me to hate my body. It's normal for a girl to feel insecure, have a lack of confidence, and want to change herself. That is normal right? As disgusting as it is, that has been the normal I've come to know. It makes me sad to think so many girls struggle because they want to be something they are not, when in fact they are something that no one else is. I was one of those. It took becoming an adult to bring me out of most of the body shaming I was doing, but I still would struggle from time to time. I outwardly showed a lot of confidence, but underneath it all I wanted to change it all. My belly, thighs, nose, and even sometimes who I was as a human. Most of my life I've accepted that to be normal. Normal and something I was okay with feeling, until I found out I was going to be the mother of a little girl.

My oh my, when I found out we were going to have a girl I didn't even know what to think. Every struggle as a female that I've encountered ran through my mind when I thought about raising HER. How was I going to do this? I still have issues with myself, how am I supposed to set a good example for her? As scary as it was I was facing it head on and was more excited and nervous than I've ever been in my entire life.

She began to grow, just as I did to accomodate her and I was prepared to feel heavy, disgusting, and just giant and pregnant. What I actually felt was more beautiful than I ever have before. My love for myself had taken a different meaning and I looked so different than before. I mean obviously the giant belly had A LOT to do with that, but it was more than that. It was my eyes, in my smile, and the way I waddled around. The way my husband looked at me changed. He has always looked at me with the most kind eyes, but there was something extra behind it and it made me feel more stunning than I think I ever have.

Tra-la-laing around, baby in tow, only lasts so long and at last the day was here. A lovely Sunday morning, it was time to pack it up and head to the hospital. Guys, let me tell you, birth was awesome! That's another story for another day, but it was the most rad, awesome, fun experience I've ever had. It was empowering, scary, and gratifying all in one.

Postpartum ended up being much easier than I had anticipated and I was making dinner as babe slept after two nights of being home. Sure I was tired, but with this huge change, I needed some form of normalcy. Eventually we all began to find a groove and everything was headed towards our new normal.

Everything but my post-baby body. I was breastfeeding (and I still am, can I get a hell yeah!) and eating everything I should be. Everyone said it would drastically take the weight off, so why wasn't it working? I felt flabby and like an over-poured muffin, but seeing O and how radical she was took the negativity out of it really quick. Every time I looked in the mirror I cringed, but every time I looked at her it snapped me back to reality. I did that. I made this awesome, tiny, loud human. Whoa, I'm kind of a badass.

We are now 7.5 months out of the postpartum haze, and I am back to my regular size, just with badassery changes. I have never put clothes on and felt as confident as I do now. I love my pudgy stomach, my wider hips, my stronger face. I love how squishy I am to babe and how she can comfortably fall asleep on me. To be honest, I think mommyhood just looks damn good on some people! It took not thinking so much about how I look, but focusing on how I felt. I felt like I was pretty, tough, and confident...and that's just what I got showing on the outside.

It's time to change the normal. Body shaming is not normal. Low self esteem is not normal. Being yourself, in your physical body is a beautiful thing. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful in their own skin. No matter the subject, confidence is key, and I am excited, and no longer scared to set the pathway to positive affirmations in all aspects for my tiny little lady's life.

We are all setting examples for all of the little girlies coming up after us. Teach them not to shame themselves for who they are not, but to love themselves for who they are. You go mommas, (and ladies everywhere, baby or not)! put on those jeans, wear that lipstick you've been dying to try. You've earned it. You're a mother $%&*!$# badass and you deserve to love your body for what you've accomplished. It's given you so much, regardless if you're a mom or not, you owe your body.

It took a feminist, a baby, and getting my head out of my low self esteemed ass.

Cheers to you ladies. We are so cool.

#motherhood #momblog #lifestyle #mom #postpartum #babybody #bodypositive